What a system does it removes the emotional attachment. It also removes uncertainty because if you stick to a system and you logically stick to a system, and you know that’s the sensible thing to do, you don’t have this inability to plan.
What happens with uncertainty and “I’m not sure if I can afford that” or “I’m not sure if we can that get to there” and it allows you to spot issues.
So what I’ve done is I have put some spreadsheets up which are actually in the vault. And if you haven’t watched the series it’s in the video series. But I want to talk to it so you can hear me live to talk about it.
But before we get there I have to tackle this one because it’s one of my favourite subjects. Which one of these are you?
Okay, so if I describe them you can nudge the person next you, but in a minute you’re going to tell your buddy which one you are. Alright, let’s start with the spender. I’ll give you some characteristics of a spender.
Spenders love to just go and spend and then think about the consequences afterwards or look in their wife’s eyes and feel guilty afterwards. You will know you’re a spender because you like nice shoes and spend a lot of money on shoes. You’re a spender if you think, “oh don’t worry let’s get this now and sort it out later.” Just giving you some of the language patterns that spenders have.
If your primary need is variety. If you like a lot of variety if you like to go out and experience variety if you get bored easily. And you like to try different restaurants, travel to different places. If life basically for you is about variety nine times out of 10, my experience is variety driven people are also spenders by nature.
Does that make sense?
You don’t think too much about the future in terms of long-term consequences.
You might think about “oh shit what is my husband going to say if I buy this”, or you might think, “what’s my wife going to say about this.” That’s your immediate sense of pain but you don’t think a year, two years down the line. If I spend this that’s going to take money away from my kids in the future. You don’t think about that.
A spender typically is the one that likes to throw money out when they’re with their mates. If you’ve ever come back with your husband, “why did you pay the meal for all those people?” That means your partner is probably somebody who wants to please other people.
So spenders tend to be pleasers at times and also spenders can be a little bit ego-driven. In the sense, they spend money to get one of those needs met, which is the need by being loved by other people. That’s the six human needs we are not going to cover that today, but that’s something we talked about at the Turning Point a few years ago.
So I found over the years the spending habits are often linked to our core basic needs. That need to be liked, need to feel variety, the need to feel like we fit in. “I don’t want to look book and feel I can’t afford it.”
Does that make sense?
So if you’re in that habit you will know this because you tend to spend without thinking about the savings.
Savers are the exact opposite.
Here are some words to write down. You’re certainty driven, you’re security-driven, you’re cautious by nature, very methodical by nature, you count every penny out. And you will probably look over your should of your partner when he is buying stuff or she and doublechecking. Or if they come in with some clothes or whatever it is they have bought, “where did you get that from, can you afford that?”
So savers typically are averse to even investing they are very averse to risk as well. So that’s your saver.
The saint is the person that puts themselves above money completely. Money is not important. They are very spiritual by nature, but they have no idea about money at all. They don’t look at any bank accounts. They don’t do any money management, don’t want to discuss it in the household. If you’re married to a saint you’re in the shit. Because you’ve come in working all day and go, look at these bills and the saints like meditating. “It will be fine, don’t worry.”
And they’re not quite an ignorer, this is interesting we will come back to the ignorer in a moment. They almost put themselves above money. It’s a bit like India going up into the mountains and there’s a guru there living off the land because they have gone beyond the need for material things.
But in the Western world, that’s roughly agreed upon? You know you’ve got to pay for a hotel, food, drinks, computers, travel etcetera. Saints struggle in the capitalistic type culture the Western culture where we spend money, we earn money.
So you typically won’t find a lot of saints in Britain, or if you do you find them you find them in communities generally. In fact where we live there is a community not too far away and as a collective I wouldn’t say they live saintly, because they live off the land and they buy things. But the philosophy is money is not important, it is not relevant in the world.
Does that make sense?
There is not a great percentage of those around.
But there is a hell of a lot of these around. The ignorers.
The ignorers characteristics, don’t look at the bank account, don’t look at statements, tend not to want to hear about money or have arguments about money. “Okay so how are we going to pay for this holiday? Oh, I’ve got to go now; you sort it out.” The other person may be a saver or spender, you are in real trouble if you’ve got that going on.
If one person is a spender and the other one is an ignorer oh my gosh, your bank account is being emptied literally.
So ignorers just don’t do detail, write that one down. They don’t do detail, they can be socialised. So they’re the opposite of savers. Socialises are very bubbly we went through this at CWI. Socialises go out but ignore the numbers. If they get forced to look at numbers they’ll look at it and go, “I don’t know what that means.”
So with the person next to you tell them which one you think is your dominant personality there.