fbpx
Don’t miss Dr Ro’s popular Communicating With Impact training!
Communicating with impact discussion
  • Improve your personal and professional communication with Dr Ro
  • September/October, 2020
  • Hotel Sofitel, London Gatwick

Episode 032 – Coming out of COVID, six steps to change, your belief system, supportive environment, purpose, vision and more – Part 2

Show Notes – Episode 032 – Coming out of COVID, six steps to change, your belief system, supportive environment, purpose, vision and more – Part 2

COVID was real and had a real impact on millions of people. In terms of families and health – globally, 489,000 deaths have been attributed to COVID. Statistics say in the UK unemployment surged to 1.3m in the first quarter of 2020. The effect of this will be very real in some households and some peoples lives. Our heart goes out to all those impacted by COVID. Which is why Dr Ro & Harminder have recorded this two-part episode to provide ideas and insights to help during this time of change.

Change is happening all the time. However, some change is more significant than others. Another way to explain this is, some change is more impactful on us. What Dr Ro has found in the 30 years of specialising in transformational change is – if you approach change with a specific process you can learn to develop a rapid way to deal with it. This includes high impact events such as COVID. We appreciate there have been many changes for people – personal, financial, emotional and more. So we have to be equipped to take this on. But take it on in a systematic way with an emotionally developed attitude. 

This process you will learn in today’s episode is, Dr Ro’s Six-Step Process to Change.

In Part 1, Dr Ro & Harminder cover the first three parts which include:

  • Step One: Master Your Internal & External Language
  • Step Two: Re-Valuing Your Life 
  • Step three: Change Your Conditions 

You can listen to Part 1 here >>

In Part 2, Dr Ro & Harminder cover the final three parts which include:

  • Step Four: Believe It or Not – It’s True
  • Step Five: Create a Supportive Environment For Change
  • Step Six: Wake-up on Purpose With a Vision 

There are lots of steps to take off the back of this episode which means you can manage and adapt to change in an emotionally developed way.

If you want to deep dive into any step, learn from the specific video courses you get access to by becoming a Growth Tribes Podcast Supporter >>

And

Explore this entire process in more detail by getting Dr Ro’s Amazing Best Selling Book – Turning Point >>

Harms: Hello, it’s Harms here and welcome to another episode of the Growth Tribes podcast.

Now this is part two, limit, to paint a picture we are going through Covid coming out of Covid. The reality is, whether it’s Covid, whether there is a life event happening to you. 

I’ve pulled a couple of phrases in which Ro described this scenario from the last episode which is, change is happening all the time. 

That’s the reality. 

We know that however some change is more significant than others. Just take the literal scenario that we’re going through right now. Covid is a more significant change, we’re talking about job losses.

 Financial change, relationship change and another way to describe this is as well as it being more significant that means it has more impact on us and there are two different ways to describe change. 

What Ro described to us in the last episode is if we approach change with a specific process that means we can learn to develop a rapid way to deal with it rather than let change completely dictate our lives, we can handle it and manage it. 

Our heart here at Growth Tribes goes out to all the families affected whether it’s a small way, or a large way again, the impact and the significance of that impact is completely different to different people.

What we started to do in part one is give you a process, tool, a step-by-step process in which you can implement in your own life so that you can take on and deal with this change. 

To tackle this change in a systematic way but rather than be physically resilient, but also handle it on an emotional level, an emotionally developed level and approach it from that attitude, which is a really refreshing place to come from. 

That systematic way to tackle change is Dr Ro’s six step process to managing change and actually after listening to part one myself is embracing that change as well and being able to take in your stride. 

Not allowing the change to completely put you in a place where that change becomes a story for the rest of your life. 

We don’t want Covid to become that story you refer to for the rest of your life, 20, 30 years down the line.

Welcome Ro and the first question I guess is do you recommend people listen to part one and the second question of that is, are you ready to jump into step number four?

Dr Ro: Hi everyone and Harms, that’s a great question and welcome back to part two of the six step process. 

The book and the process was developed in harmony in such a way that once you understand the six-step process you don’t have to follow the sequence. 

I’ve watched and witnessed both you and your wife at times since you first experienced this, I’ve seen you always jump into it sporadically and occasionally to just revisit for certain circumstances that come up in your own life.

Harms: Absolutely and that’s why I approached you with this topic from the get go.

Dr Ro: The fact is that as we go through changes in our lives, we may need to revisit our language. The internal language. The external language. The communications going on all the time. 

Even when you go into your sleep the conversation shifts into a dream state, but it’s still a reflection of the conversations and communication that happened throughout the day. 

There are some amazing studies to show that actually what we do during the course of the day our short-term memory moves to our long-term memory through that period between about 12 o’clock, one in the morning to about three in the morning. 

These various stages of sleep. 

So although you might think that this communication happens, it is only happening at certain times it’s happening all the time, so the more you can start working on this, the better. 

Step one is the communication, step two then starts to look at your values, your internal values and how you language those values and how you use those values on a day-to-day basis. How you show up in life is reflected on those core values and again it can be revisited at any time and you could just interrogate those values to ask yourself, am I living by the original values I set myself? 

Step three is looking at the conditions and the rules around which we place on these values. In other words, if I strangle the value for health or for relationships or love connection or success. Meaning, if I make it too difficult to experience that value I’m only successful if I make £1 million this year. 

If everybody I sell to buys from me. If everybody praises me and I get lots of recognition only then will I become successful. 

Woah that’s really tricky, so what we talked about is relaxing the rules to make it easier to experience that part of your life. These three steps are essential if you’re going for it for the first time. 

Having gone through these and I continue to do myself if you can revisit them all in one go if you want to, or you can jump in at any stage, but definitely go listen to part one first before we go through this part two, because I personally feel it will help consolidate that process.

 I am going to give step four the same title as in the turning point book and that is, believe it or not, it’s true. 

What that’s referring to is that every single one of us have a set of beliefs and you may recall from part one we talked about when you’re communicating you’re either asking questions or you’re making statements and when you make a statement, anything you say is a reflection of what you believe. 

If I say to you, it’s a sunny day. I believe it’s a sunny day. 

When people first work with me or if I do an intervention or if I bring someone onto stage at a live event. Or a live coaching session I let him talk for about 10 minutes and in the process of speaking he gave so many clues in the way he explained his world to me.

When you’re talking to somebody or when you’re talking to yourself, if I start digging and asking you questions the more you tell me the more it also tells me what your beliefs are about your world. 

Certain beliefs are articulated in a way that are stronger than others, and the minute you start to appreciate that your whole world is made up of questions and statements and those statements are a reflection of your beliefs. 

Now you can start to decide how you want the world to be perceived by you, but also how you want the world to perceive you. 

Meaning what if you redefined your belief or if you changed that model inside you and said if what I’m saying outwardly and inwardly is based on my beliefs. What if I could change those beliefs? What would that do to my perception of the world? 

The answer is to radically change it.

When it comes to beliefs there are limiting beliefs and there are beliefs that will empower you. A limiting belief is something that will hold you back. For example, I can’t do that, I’m not very bright. 

I just recently had a chat with Harms as I just met a 23-year-old young man whose self-esteem was really low based on some experiences that he had at four years of age to do with his father and his mother, and it consistently continued throughout his growing up period. 

His father then went on to be abusive in certain areas with drugs, et cetera and this had had a knock-on effect. 

His beliefs about the world were moulded right back to that early age, and it meant that he didn’t have the confidence to do certain things. He was looking for reassurance in everybody his belief was, I can really only do this once I get confirmation from someone I’m doing the right thing. 

Or I won’t know if I have done this correctly until someone else tells me I’ve done it correctly, that is a limiting belief. 

It’s limiting to him to believe that his whole world is based on other people’s perception of him, and whether they approve of him.

Harms: You mentioned turning point one of the questions I have is can you read some extracts as we go into step four, five, six where you think relevant.

 As I know the book evolved into the event, which was a live event which you did three days working people through this. 

This six-step change process was one component of the turning point event and I know from witnessing people there and having attended it myself, beliefs how they shape our decisions, how they shape what we say. What we talk about, what we think.

Dr Ro: The other type of belief is an empowering belief, so had he changed his beliefs and said you know what my past does not equal my future so I don’t need to seek approval. 

Just think about that for a minute. Imagine, now 23 years of age he changes belief system from, I can only do this and move forward and believe in myself if other people stroke me on the back, applaud me, give me recognition, confirm I’ve done the right thing, as opposed to my past, i.e.. what his father went through the abuse he received from his father and mum, et cetera does not equal the future. 

I don’t need recognition in order for me to be successful. I can control my future. I can make the decisions. I can look at myself now and say I’ve done a great job. 

The feeling you get as a human being when you change that belief means that he is now empowered to take full responsibility. An empowering belief is very different to a destructive limiting belief. I’ll read this, can a belief spread like wildfire?

Dr Ro: The answer to this question is dependent on three factors.

Number one how strong the belief is in the person spreading it, you could be the person spreading it. 

Meaning this young man was talking to me and telling me, I’ve got a low self-esteem and I need to hear from other people that I have done a good job that’s how I know I’m good at what I do. He believes that he’s spreading that. But what if this is and this has come from school he got B’s and C’s and he was told by several members of the family and people around him he was dumb because he didn’t do very good in his oral. 

Because he didn’t get such a good grade there people started to call him dumb, slow, et cetera, yet I thought he was a bright bloke. If you hear it from other people that reinforces the internal beliefs you’ve got. 

Number two is how believable it is to other people. So if you act the way that you say you believe yourself to be and you consistently reinforce that, of course, it becomes more believable to other people, then it’s going to spread more because then they treat you the same way as you’re saying about yourself. 

When I heard it in him my immediate reaction was that it is not true and he was struggling with that because he’s used to people reinforcing what he’s saying because that’s the environment he was growing up in. 

Whereas he’s suddenly getting me challenging him. It’s confusing him because I’m now challenging the belief that somebody else has put upon him. 

The last thing here is how insecure the people receiving it are in their own personal beliefs. Think about this for a minute. 

If you say something that is maybe showing you to be weak and you happen to be talking to someone else that themselves have a set negative beliefs about themselves or they have got a big ego, but they don’t feel very confident about something.

Rather than them expose themselves, they will reflect that belief back on you and say you know what, you’re right. 

You need to do this, you need to do that, and that means that their insecurity is simply propped up by them reflecting a negative back belief back on, making you look even worse and reinforcing your negative beliefs. 

Harms have you seen, witnessed it, experienced it, or seen it in other people?

Harms: I think this plays out in everybody around us, whether they come into an event which we are hosting or just in general everyday life. 

This can happen over a conversation with somebody over a coffee counter. This can happen with your family. This can happen culturally. 

This can happen depending on what age somebody is so actually this is opening up into a slightly different question, but around the same topic of believe it or not, it’s true, which is what I what I typically notice in my Asian culture and I was conscious of this when I was 20, 25, getting close to 30 years. 

A couple of things were happening. 

One was, as I was getting older some of my beliefs were getting stronger and firmer and another way for me to describe this is I was becoming more close minded to any other belief or even opening my eyes to any other belief. 

Whether it’s limiting or empowering.

Dr Ro: Were you aware of that at the time or is this now Harms the emotionally developed growing 10 years later, looking back, thinking shit I hadn’t spotted?

Harms: This is looking back because now I am in a position where it’s questioning those beliefs, because what I’m finding is people, whether it’s an Asian culture. 

I’m discussing the Asian culture because that is what is close to me and I’m familiar with that. 

But that plays out in my culture that plays out in my family, which is one thing that happens when people are getting older and older and older in age and not necessarily emotional maturity but certainly age, and you add things like cultural influences to this.

Let’s take a random scenario which we discussed in a past podcast. A belief could be somebody should get married before they move in with each other? 

This is a big strong and I say this as it has been in recent conversations somebody should get married before they move in with each other. 

Now this is a strong belief that my culture would hold and it gets stronger and stronger and stronger as somebody gets older and older and older. 

Within that specific culture. 

I’m sure this plays out in other cultures as well, but the challenge comes is I think one the questions I have for you Ro is what drives a belief to become so strong and deep-rooted in scenarios like this? 

We can take the example but it plays out in any kind of situation. 

Another one is what stops people from this open-mindedness where people at some point don’t question their own belief system, which is just as problematic here. 

As step four is believe it or not, it’s true whether somebody’s got a limiting belief or empowering belief it becomes irrelevant if they don’t even understand the step or even question it.

Dr Ro: The question you’re asking is so deep I’ll touch on the answer, but it’s something that I think people need to explore further. 

Think of a tree when it’s starting off its young, fresh, and coming out the ground it’s a lot more pliable, so that’s a bit like a belief. 

The tree that comes out it’s so pliable, the wind can blow it can change in different directions and actually if you saw a tree that was on a hill the wind is constantly coming from one direction, that tree will grow, but it will be pushed in a certain direction. 

As the tree grows, it starts to get another growth ring, another growth ring and think of these as beliefs. These beliefs become more reinforced. 

When you stay in a certain way of lifestyle it becomes deeper and deeper, to the point where that tree now 10, 15, 20, 30, 40 years later is still at the same angle. The bark is thicker. 

Its roots are deeper and as I’m describing I’m sure you can think of a tree that you’re aware of yourselves, that tree represents the beliefs that are now very, very difficult to change. You have to literally pull the tree back, probably loosen some of the roots and straighten them up and then reset those roots, but now you’ve got a tree slightly at an angle. 

That’s what a belief is, a belief becomes hardened and shaped and formed down over time, the more we consistently hear it and reinforce it in the same way the wind does not stop blowing on that tree on the ridge.

Harms: When that tree is younger, originally planted or starting to grow, we can just dig that tree out and move it’s location. 

You can change things about it and that is almost what we have and experience when we’re younger, below 10 below 20 and then as we get older and older the roots start to sink deeper and deeper.

Until you get to a point where this is linking nicely to the fact that somebody genuinely cannot change their belief system because it’s so deep-rooted. 

This tree is now immovable and this when you come across people when talking about the limiting beliefs where the limiting belief is so powerful and strong that you just physically can’t change this person’s thinking around a specific topic or idea or concept or behaviour pattern.

Dr Ro: It goes back to your question what stops them questioning the belief, exactly what you just said there. 

That’s who I am, that’s how it is surely it I am an oak tree at an angle. 

No you’re an oak tree that has been blown at an angle. Would you like to be a different angle? Yeah I used to think about that when I was younger and I saw those trees down the valley that were straight and I’m thinking it would be nice, but now this is who I am. 

You’re spot-on and funnily enough Harms I’ve just found an example of Jane’s story. 

This is about a 63-year-old lady who came up to me who’d had challenges with relationships all of her adult life and going back to a young experience that she had. She had not had a deep relationship with a man for literally decades, and without going into detail it goes back to something that happened to her when she was aged 7 to do with a traumatic experience. 

So after some interventional work, et cetera literally uprooting those roots and then going back and resetting it. 

At 63 we did that process and some years later I was at a charity event and she came up and she was engaged, it was amazing. 

Don’t think as you listen to this tree analogy it’s so true. I do get what they’re talking about. So now it’s okay, I understand. 

No that’s not true. 

You can change.

Harms: The question is how does one change?

Dr Ro:  There are four levels of belief and this came out in the life coaching session I gave recently actually. The first level is where you are a young spruce tree coming up the ground that’s someone else’s viewpoint. 

Harms grows up hearing something from his dad or mum particularly coming from a specific culture and you believe it because it’s somebody else’s view. That’s all you know. 

You might be four, five, six years of age. 

Even my youngest is six now, she’s already formed a set of beliefs and a lot of those have come from what she has learned from us because at this moment she’s not conscious enough to necessarily form really deep-rooted beliefs herself. 

She can be influenced quite quickly, we are all the same, it’s someone else’s view. 

Even as adults, we get it, social media even today can sway somebody else’s belief by just simply seeing another person’s view.

Harms: It is a big, big influence, so social media has become a part of the culture. 

If you think about social media as this abstract item it’s fairly new in society. If you think about some of our beliefs, somebody of your generation’s beliefs they would have been shaped by what happened in the war. 

What kind of cultural influence in the 70s, 80s. Then there was the 90s and music was a big influence in the 90s, then in 2000 technologies took over. 

Now if we think about social media it’s really just been the last 10 to 15-year thing. What we won’t see is how that will shape our kids beliefs who are being directed and their beliefs have been shaped what would have been most part by parents. 

Now it has been shaped by parents, movies, music, but now this other big thing which is social media. It is not social media it’s other people’s beliefs being projected through this media channel social media. 

Purposefully, whether it’s advertisers brands, but also other people. Now children are being exposed to one way to describe it, but also another way to describe it is they’re simply seeing all of these different belief systems. 

One could argue that’s a good thing one could argue that’s a bad thing. 

I think at this stage it’s really just being aware that social media has added another dynamic which I don’t think we’re going to see the results of for another couple of decades. To be honest on how it shapes our kids beliefs systems.

Dr Ro: This is a great point, if you think about it it’s the tree you’re blown left, right and centre. 

When I grew up it was based on this first level, which is other people’s point of view. Often it would be have you read the newspaper?

I’ll read it when I get home or have you seen the news and the news would be at certain times. We would wait to see that it would be like switching the TV on. 

Watch the news at that time, process it, there’s only so much information they could present to us in that window so we would be forming our beliefs and understanding based on that. That was it or a magazine, but that magazine was a monthly magazine. 

Now I am reading an article the following month on something that came out last week or last month. Now it’s a bloody instant. 

Now there is so much of it and so many different opinions. 

What is it doing to people’s first level of belief building? It’s throwing it all over. 

Everybody is being influenced in so many different ways and are not able to pause and ask themselves a genuine question, what do I believe as opposed to what beliefs are being put upon me? 

I’m getting passionate about this because I do think that is creating anxiety in our culture because people aren’t quite sure what to believe.

Harms: One of the other challenges is that somebody doesn’t believe in something, or a group of things because they ask themselves the question which is, what do I even believe in? 

What is true to me and in alignment with my values, which we spoke about in a previous step.

In addition to that, if we link it back to limiting beliefs which cause adults absolute chaos and distress in their lives, 10, 20, 30, 40 years down the line is what will our kids limiting beliefs be if they’re experiencing some kind of issue or challenge, relationship challenge via this channel, social media? 

It could be they put a post-up nobody likes. 

Does that now create a limiting belief, where nobody likes me when I look like this when I post like this, and if you compare that limiting belief to an empowering belief that they believe is an empowering belief, i.e. I have to look like this other person to get people to follow me to get people like me. 

What are these conflicting beliefs being created at a young age and this is even happening in adult age. 

I am referencing to the children because that’s what shapes the next generation. But people in their 20s, 30s, 40s are getting shaped.

Dr Ro: I agree I think it’s all the way through. 

The older generation may be less so because they haven’t got such access to it. The next one is the point of view so beyond someone else’s point of view, now it’s your point of view. 

This is the next level of beliefs that gets formed. 

The roots get deeper now something becomes your own point of view, you’ve got a view on something you’ve heard it, you may have witnessed it and experienced it in other people and now it becomes a point of view. 

Before it was this is what my uncle John told me now it’s, this is how the world is. It’s your point of view it’s not a personal belief that’s deeper yet it’s almost there, but it’s that next level where you could still be swayed from your point of view. 

When it’s someone else’s belief you can be swayed bit more, but now it’s your own point of view, you defend it a little bit more because hey I believe this now. 

That’s where the roots have got a little bit deeper and in age that might be nine, 10, 11 when the consciousness is growing. 

Then you go to the next level, which is a personal belief. The first one was a point of view so we’ve got someone’s view and then there’s your point of view, but now you’re older now. 

You’ve held onto this belief for five years and now you believe it, this is a personal belief. Now you believe it, you’ve had that you’ve witnessed it, you’ve reinforced it, you probably even convinced yourself of it more because you look to other people. 

You can have that belief changed and if you were doing coaching or an intervention, or you’re doing a personal development programme there is enough strength there in audio or video, working with somebody to change that. 

That belief is still changeable, but boy, you would argue, and you defend it at this stage because now it’s part of who you are, your identity.

Harms: What is what I find really scary and again, this is my own personal belief is people in my generation who are in late teens, 18, 19, 20 early 20s, mid 20s, and they have these incredibly rigid strong beliefs in something or multiple item of things, but the fact that it’s so extreme sometimes is scary. 

I find it really difficult to understand how somebody can have that level of strength in a belief, and this can be limiting. 

This can be empowering but just the extreme nature of that belief and if they could see outside of themselves how that really limits their exploration of their 20s, which is such an amazing decade to explore. 

They go through that entire decade believing this one thing so rigidly. I’ve seen this with yourself as well, which is when that age comes this level of wisdom. 

If you’re pushing it the right way, of course, what’s some advice that you can give to somebody who is in their early 20s who has these extremely rigid beliefs and you know that with wisdom having that level of extreme belief in something is sometimes detrimental. 

I guess how they open up and explore different belief systems in their 20s and 30s, rather than at the age of 18, feel this level of and again, a phrase, but this level of righteousness that this is what I believe in and nothing is going to erode this belief. 

Then what happens later in their 40s they look back and are like I wish I explored a bit further in my 20s.

Dr Ro: The challenge here is it and what you just described is very interesting because I agree. 

I think what happened is a lot of younger people coming through now in their 20s and 30s have got a set of beliefs. 

There is an element of ego that protects those beliefs. When you believe something and you have an element of I don’t want to be wrong, I want to have a certain image if I’m perceived to be wrong or I’m changing my viewpoint, I might be perceived to be weak. 

Social media sadly has created that for people and I really do believe that so social media has played a big part in this. 

Now you’ve got ego and people’s perception and image adding to this whole thing about protecting a belief. 

I think that’s definitely playing out in younger people at the moment.

Harms: I think you’ve answered the question for listeners who are in their early 20s. 

What I think I extracted from that is, don’t allow your beliefs and the rigidness around the beliefs to be dictated by the fact that you don’t want to be wrong, and that’s a big thing. 

You’re living with this belief for the next two decades because of the fact that you don’t want to be wrong. Now that is not a great place to come from. 

Keeps you close minded, but I guess then we’re saying, ask yourself the question, where is this belief coming from? 

Is it coming from a place where I don’t want to be wrong, I do want to look foolish in front of people, because that’s a long time to believe something for that reason.

Dr Ro: I agree. 

I think the key thing here is it’s your ego that’s wrestling here. 

If somebody in their 20s had this issue I would ask the question, and this is all I do and this is what happened with the young man. 

I said, what you described to me are a couple of beliefs here that haven’t necessarily served you would that be right? I asked that question. 

Then they might defend it and say it has kind of kept me safe. I would say, how has it kept you safe? Then they’ll say something else. 

But from what you described it’s actually held you back as you mentioned you wanted to do this, but you didn’t because of this. That’s true. You said you were going to try this or experience this, or go out on a date with this person, go and pursue that business or go for that job. 

But you didn’t because of this, is that right? Then they pause and they say yes. 

And then I ask the question, so what do you think the consequences have been and will be if you maintain this belief? 

What has it cost you and what’s it going to cost you? 

That’s the crux of the question and anyone that is open to having that conversation the ego tends to drop by the way and the truth comes out. 

The minute that awareness comes to the table, that’s when we can do some work to make the change, and that’s the only answer I can give you. 

We have, first of all, opened the door to realising that this has not served me and the minute you now look at something that you think has served you and say shit this hasn’t served me, but how do I let go of it? 

That’s harder for a younger person because of their ego. 

It’s harder for somebody my age because they don’t think they’ve got the tools to make the change. So both age groups you’ll still have a reason which by the way, is a belief why you can’t make the change.

Dr Ro: This is so deep, virtually nothing can change. 

This is the old tree now or even a younger person that has just seen it and witnessed it so many times. That you absolutely believe this to be the truth, and nothing can sway me from this. 

That’s what you believe. 

I believe that it can be swayed, and I think with a strong, deep intervention, working with the right person. It can be changed. 

The only other thing that might change it is a massively significant emotional event, something happens that absolutely stops you in your tracks and makes you question the belief you had before. 

Often it’s something like if somebody believes something negatively about money and how they’re treated and how people react around money and then something happens that shocks you. 

For example, a death or somebody around you offers to help contribute financially to the start-up of a business idea that you’ve got, whereas previously you believed that no one would ever do that and you put that on the backburner for years. 

And someone came to you without any question without any demands and said I’ll give you £50,000 to start the business and I’m not going to get involved with your business, I think you’ve got a great idea. 

I will simply be a support to the start-up and we will agree terms for the loan, et cetera I don’t want anything more than that. 

That could be significant enough for you to start to shift your beliefs otherwise need an intervention for somebody else. 

Those levels of convictions are the toughest ones to change.

Very quickly stage one is what I call name and shame. It’s simply just being aware and actually writing down on paper what those negative beliefs are.

Whatever you say next you put on paper, you name and shame that is the first thing. Number two is what it costs you. 

My big question now is what could you have experienced had you not had this belief? 

What you’re saying is the cost of this is X, Y, and Z. stage three is now having identified these beliefs and what they cost you to destroy them.

A couple of ways to destroy them. 

One is you write them down and you identify how crap they are and how they haven’t served you, you put them in an envelope, take them outside somewhere safely and burn them. You put them in an envelope and you identify that I don’t want these beliefs to be part of my new identity and you burn them and you let them go. 

Another way to do it is simply to visualise them and to crush them with a hammer with a sledgehammer, you can burn them in your mind, there’s lots of different techniques, but I like the physical burning because it’s a really rapid emotional way to do it and it’s kind of relief for people. 

Stage four is to replace the old beliefs with new empowering beliefs. 

You can’t remove the old ones without knowing you’ve got new beliefs. You’ve got to have those beliefs. Without those new beliefs, you typically find yourself slipping back into old habits.

We need to replace that and finally stage five, celebrate this process. 

Take those beliefs from other people, be a good thief. If you’re 30, 35 years of age take some of Harms beliefs, if you’re slightly older take mine.

Find aspiring people out there, look at what they do think about beliefs they have and just build your own set of new beliefs.

Let’s dive into step five.

Dr Ro: Step five is to create a supportive environment and again, it is as important as everything else we’ve covered. 

I think it’s one that is overlooked actually because a lot of people tend to blame certain things, but the environment in which you operate plays out massively in how you feel as a person. 

Just think about it from the point of view when you wake up on a cold, wet, grey day and you look out the window versus when you look out that same window and the sun is shining. A Robin’s family lands on your windowsill. 

Some flowers are just popping out and a little rabbit hops by the window and the breeze of that morning meadow grass comes through, thinking about how you feel. Your environment does make a difference. 

There are two environments, the internal environment, and the external environment. No matter what’s going on outside. If you can control that internal environment, your space where you meditate, you keep yourself calm, you reflect internally, you look at your beliefs and you applaud yourself, you compliment yourself. 

You reinforce the values and the belief that’s where you keep it safe. If you cannot keep your garden clean internally. 

If you can’t weed the garden internally you can’t expect the external world to be in alignment with you because you’ll be misaligned. 

You want the outside world to be perfect, but inside you yourself have got a lot of challenges as well.

Harms: I would encourage listeners if you want to start understanding that internal environment starts with step one, because we actually talk about it in a lot of detail. 

Where that focus is around internal language, internal communication, and that’s a vital step.

Dr Ro: As I’m talking Harms I want you to think about you and Geena your lovely wife and by the way everybody his baby is due very soon and what you’ve done externally to change your circumstances to increase your chances of winning. 

Not just from a financial perspective but also the environment in which you live in terms of the quality of life and how you want your new family to be. I think you’ve made some very interesting choices and I think it’s worth talking about. 

An external environment check so that’s the heading of the paragraph of this section in the book and it says, I’d like to focus on what environments can influence you and also what actions you can take to change those environments. 

Let’s zoom in on your external world and make a note of the different elements that it comprises. Your external world comprises the following: your family and friends. The immediate people around you. 

This is about the people around you as opposed to your physical environment just for a minute, then the next ring outside that is your work colleague or your business colleagues and your community and then the next influence externally around you would be your culture or your religion in which you’re growing up in. 

Of course outside that you’ve got the country in which you’re growing up in as well. So these are external checks on your environment of the people you associate with. 

The other thing to check is the environment within which you live. So how does it look? How does it feel? Does it support the way you want your life to be? 

Friends and family are the toughest for us to deal with, we’re talking about who you mix with, how you mix with them and you might ask the question of whether you mix with them and with family that’s tougher. 

I’m not here to say don’t mix with certain members of your family that are negative. 

Whereas you could argue if you’ve got colleagues or people you met in the work environment or your friend circle there is an argument to say you don’t have to go mix with them and meet them. 

But on family get-togethers if there are certain people you don’t connect with or relate to it may be difficult not to mix or meet with them, but you can manage that relationship. 

I’ll give you a few things to consider to check on whether friends and family are supportive of our external environment. 

Are they positively or negatively focused with their words? 

Think about the language they use. 

Do they talk about other people and things, or about what they are passionate about? Stina went to her parents get together and she was surprised to see the contrast between those that talking negatively about the experience of Covid and pointing things at people in government whereas others were talking about how they can make the experience better for their kids and what they can do as they come through, and beyond Covid. 

Do they focus a lot on what they hear and see in the media? 

Are they abundant in their nature? 

Do they talk about themselves and their story a lot?

Do they ask about your life and what’s exciting about you and what you are doing? Do their beliefs, rules, value, support, or conflict with yours? 

Do they generally blame others or do they take responsibility? 

If you are mixing with people and their beliefs and their behaviour is not supporting your internal beliefs and your internal values you’ve got a challenge there. 

And the more you mix with people like that externally, the tougher it can be. You’ve got to decide how I got a strong set of beliefs that have enough conviction to stand up and say what I believe and not feel I have to compromise that.

Or is it a case of actually every time you go to a family get-together or friends they are so strong in their convictions. 

They’re so aggressive in terms of the way the quite pushy, I feel really uncomfortable and the more I go there I don’t enjoy these get-togethers because I just don’t align with what they’re saying, in which case, in that environment you will have to seriously think about reducing the time in that space, or managing how you operate there. 

I promise if you stay long enough in an environment, like that people who aren’t supportive of you and your values two things will happen. 

You will either compromise and then end up becoming them or they’ll be family feuds. 

Be mindful of that and that’s what I witnessed over the years with myself, but also other people as well.

Harms: I personally believe our beliefs are shaped by people’s influences whether they’re positive or negative. 

Even if you think about some of the amazing entrepreneurs of this world one of the things they attribute success to is either they have a parent or both parents who were incredibly supportive and positive about whatever they want to do at that time.

Dr Ro: Just recently my daughter has taken an interest in organic farming and planting seeds. 

I generally was quite busy last week when she was really wanting to get things going, and she wanted to get some natural pots as opposed to plastic things. 

We brought them back, but she needed to plant the seed, so we had to get some organic soil so I reached out to a few people because it wasn’t being available to buy locally in the garden centres, but the farms had it. 

Then we realised she needed to protect it from the rain so I built shelving in the shed one morning I got up early to do that because I thought, well, if I say no to her she then will have experience of daddy, not necessarily wanting to encourage her to do that. 

But at the same time it stops her from being able to pursue it. So now she’s got free reign now to grow them, how and when and whether she pursues all the way through is her choice. 

But going to what you’re saying there I just felt I needed to provide that space for her to explore that herself.

Harms: That is creating a supportive environment, positive environment to do anything in and that’s a great childhood example. This also applies in workplaces. 

Some of the best leaders of a company go out their way to create a supportive environment so that people can be the best versions of themselves and I think it plays out in many different places.

Dr Ro: On page 46 it says it’s time to relocate. 

Think about your external environment. 

There’s the internal one, but there’s the external one, physically, not just people and the subheading is it’s time to relocate. 

Over to my bearded friend.

Harms: I want to tie this back to the previous step, which is you spoke about beliefs and you gave the analogy of a tree. Now the reality is that as humans we’re not trees and we can move. 

We don’t have to stay in the same ground in the same location for the rest of our lives, although some people do. I know you and your family are a great example of this where you are the opposite. You travel all around the world with the family as well so that’s a good example of being around, going back to people, inspiring people and saying wow actually there’s people who are not trees. 

They are exploring. 

They are relocating multiple times and they’re still okay, they’re still living a great life. They’re still happy versus somebody who is a tree. 

They have lived in the same house for 30, 40, 50 years haven’t moved out of the house for various reasons in the same place. Now that’s one way to think about it, but the way I thought about it is linking back to the beliefs when I said in our 20s I truly believe it’s a great time to explore. 

The first part of my 20s I didn’t. I just happened to have gone to an event called turning point which you run and it opened my eyes to I am living by this set of beliefs which was, I need to have a good job, I need to buy a house. 

I need to pay down the mortgage as quickly as possible. I was following this certain belief. Another way to describe that is a plan, a life plan, and I quickly realised that had to change. 

So if you think about change in regards to a location which is the question Ro asked, we want to explore and just say we’re not trees. 

We need to work out what we want to do. 

Each of these locations is no judgement on the location, there’s no judgement whatsoever on location, but how will I know what is right for me unless I go and explore different places? 

The first one was where I literally grew up, which was an urban environment in West London. This place is busy, there’s always traffic, we live roadside, so there’s a bus coming every two minutes. 

Double-decker bus on a road which it just doesn’t belong on. There’s unlimited amounts of people or what feels like unlimited amounts of people. It’s a town where you’ve got every other house occupied in an HMO scenario, a house of multiple occupancy scenario where there’s like five, six, seven, eight people living in each property. 

That was the urban environment I grew up in. 

Now there’s going to be pros and cons without, but another way to describe this as it was a concrete jungle. 

There’s no trees, you have to drive to go see a bit of nature. 

When my wife and I got married, we said okay, what do we need to do in order to shock our belief system that we don’t have to remain here if we don’t want to? 

How do we shock ourselves into thinking, is this the right location or the right environment in order for us to go pursue what we want to do open about mindset. 

We said what’s the best way to do this, let’s go the extreme opposite of an urban metropolitan concrete jungle, which was let’s live in the country where we’re literally surrounded by no people just rolling hills.

It takes like 30 minutes of the nearest motorway to get to that house, and that’s what we did. We just literally moved. We made the decision in a matter of weeks. 

We changed the environment, and that was complete nature, we could

 walk out the front door and walk for hours and hours and we were just constantly surrounded by greenery that was up in Yorkshire, a remarkable place in the country. What we found when we changed the environment there and had the silence, the nature whether the earthiness it was like wow, it was completely different to the noise, the busyness. 

Again, this is exploring in our 20s does that mean we’re going to behave like trees and remain here for the rest of our life? 

No, we haven’t explored all the avenues and the truth is we still haven’t explored the avenues so the next step to that was a suburban town, a hybrid between what I described in West London, and what I just described out there living in the country. 

The reason for that was it was to have a mix between the positive things that you get from an environment, nature, the earthiness, the feeling that you’re connected to the earth versus this concrete barrier which almost always disconnects us from feeling centred. 

Also what you spoke about being around good people. 

You live locally to us, I’ve got other business partners who live locally to us now, so it’s a connection. It’s finding a hybrid and a good place between the environment in terms of the physical environment we live in, which is a healthy place to live in plus the people. 

What we were previously having to do was travel three or four hours to meet a business partner which wasn’t right. 

That’s our journey so far but Ro, having listened to what you’ve done, lived in places like Barcelona, travelled the world, spent time in Australia amongst other places. That’s also inspiration for listeners at home to think this goes beyond the country.

Also a country which then shapes and opens your mind to a different kind of culture, religion, community, work, different kind of economy. 

If you’re listening to this in your 20s what do you take away from what I just described there which is I think you’re not physically a tree, you can move and sometimes you have to shock yourself into making that move in order to be in a better supportive environment, whether that’s nature orientated. 

Whether that’s people orientated, I think do it as soon as you can.

Dr Ro: I think people can do this at any point and I’ve loved watching your journey, each decision takes you to a different place. 

I don’t think there’s necessarily a rule of thumb. I’ve seen people in their 60s and 70s completely radically change their whole perspective on where they want to go there. 

I think it’s tougher for the ones listening but we’ve got kids at school, we’ve set our roots down and got a job in this location. I totally get that. I understand how that could be a challenge but again, there are a set of beliefs attached to that as well. 

What if you said, especially if you start developing an online business or a property portfolio, these are things that you start to develop alongside what you’re doing that gives you choices now because geographically you don’t have to be living in that location. 

What if you took the kids through homeschooling or flexible with their learning, there are loads of things you can consider. 

All I’m doing is challenging your beliefs right now as you’re listening to ask yourselves the question, what if I did make those changes?

There are no limits really and that’s the whole beauty of this and that’s the whole point about life. The minute we put that belief limits on ourselves it changes everything and environment is one of those things. 

Simple thing going on holiday is a change of environment and why is it that people come back from holiday feeling refreshed, invigorated, inspired, it has to be radically to do with number one a mental change of environment, but also a physical change of environment as well.

Harms: I think this is what’s really important about step five is the idea is to create a supportive environment all the way through those channels, which is where you live, your friends and family. 

The people around you, your workplace, business, culture you’re growing up in the country you are growing up in. 

If it doesn’t serve you, you don’t have to remain there and I think asking that question which you discussed in step four, which is how does the environment serve you would be the question to ask yourself before you make the change in this area?

Dr Ro: Yes in view of the fact you’re going through this process with us the simple thing at this stage is ask that question, reflect back, pause without all the noise, and think about how you are living on a day-to-day basis. 

Two questions really are the people around me serving me? 

Are they making me a better person helping me grow and serve myself and my family and the world at a greater level? 

Or are these people actually holding you back or are they making you feel like you can’t grow and expand. If that’s the case, it’s not about cutting those relationships but it might be changing the way you interact in those relationships so you can still maintain them, but do it in a way that is healthy for you. 

The second question is this a supportive environment? 

Even where you live where you work, the way you travel. All these things, and if it’s supportive, great, and if it’s not, how long are you prepared to live there before you get to a point of frustration?

Harms: In my story we said this environment no longer supports us. 

Let’s make the changes you actually helped us out in regards to where we moved down south you said, this is a great supporting environment in terms of the location you checked it out, you vetted it. 

You saw the place and the next two, three weeks we moved down. 

But you don’t have to do that. It doesn’t have to play out like that, but what it should maybe do is I need to change my environment, my location, my job, my business whatever and then work towards that.

It could take six months, it could take a year but at least that becomes now an aspirational goal that you can work towards.

Dr Ro: The actual physical activity of the change may be slower but if the decision is clear and made quickly, then the conviction comes behind that, then you act. 

You have to have conviction to see it through and that’s where people go astray.

Harms: If the decision is weak and it doesn’t have a level of conviction you may say to somebody I was thinking about moving so talking about the people in your environment and they’re going to put a dampener on it and say, you shouldn’t do that because of this are you crazy? 

That can apply to any kind of environmental change, whether it’s a physical location. Your job or whatever that is. 

It’s going to affect and disturb the current environment, if you don’t have conviction you can quite easily be swayed not to make any change.

Dr Ro: This goes back to beliefs and if you think about the word conviction, it keeps coming back to the sense of conviction whether somebody is genuinely focused on it and believes it to be right for them, or because we heard it on a podcast because maybe we should do it. 

That’s kind of someone else’s opinion. 

We’re just saying, look at all the steps, start to evaluate them and tie it back to Covid, but it doesn’t have to be Covid it can be any area of your life. 

This process is pulling it apart in a very logical way.

I’m going to have this new identity. 

The next step is, do I need to change my environment and in the last step is let me attach a sense of purpose to this so it really gives me the drive to see this through.

Dr Ro: Step six which is purpose. 

The title is wake up on purpose with a vision. 

I’ve got a quote here from Jack Canfield who is a fantastic author here is a promise. 

If you make the effort to develop the habit of unusual clarity the payoff for you down the road will be tremendous. It’s about clarity and I guess what I want to talk about here and this is a big subject in its own right, is two things. 

One, you must have a vision for the future. 

People say they can’t find their purpose and I remember at a young age going through this as well because the problem is we’re brought up to believe that you have to go find this thing that you want for your life. 

But imagine a situation where you’re really aligned with your values, beliefs, you have a strong sense of your identity and now you’re vibrating in that space. Anything that’s right for you will be drawn to you. 

Because if you have the belief of the law of attraction you will only attract to you that which you are putting out. 

In other words, when you vibrate at a certain frequency in the same way a note does literally something will start to vibrate if it’s aligned at the same frequency, resonant frequency of the other thing that’s vibrating already.

Any physical bodies around that thing that’s vibrating will only vibrate if they are aligned with that initial source of vibration. 

Which means you could have 10 items on the table and only three of them vibrate because they are aligned, that’s the same thing with your purpose, your purpose will only come to you not that you go finding it. 

Think of it the other way around. 

If you just go out and be yourself and start to have some passion in certain areas of your life, you’ll find that it will come to you.

Harms: At some point in the past probably when I was in my teens and early 20s I had that feeling where I’m going to wake up one day and I’ll know what my purpose is. 

If you think about the story which I just explained where I’ve travelled from this location across the country to the hybrid place.

It’s something we do is travel for 30 days plus a year. This is exploring passions. 

This is trying to find out what’s out there that closely aligns with what potentially could be my purpose, without getting hung up on the fact that I’ve got to find this purpose. 

I think that’s how it’s played out in my life.

Dr Ro: Don’t misunderstand being successful in your job, your career or making more money to say I feel on purpose. 

They are two different things. 

When I’m on stage in that space I’m completely alive and engaged with what I’m doing that’s when I’m on purpose. 

Spending time with my kids and playing with them and I switch off from everything else that’s another area of my life on purpose so when people say I’m on purpose, I say, how do you know? 

As I’ve just got a new promotion, making this much money per year. I will say to them, that’s great, you’re doing really well in your job, you shop is what you’re doing your job, your true passion and purpose in terms of you as a human being, and they go yeah it pays really well. 

That’s a different answer. 

I don’t want to preach here; I’m just highlighting the difference between measuring a financial perspective versus purpose and what I love to do.

Harms: I think this is a really useful distinction Ro, because one of the things my generation might get confused with again there’s no right or wrong answer here. When we often look at Bill Gates, for example. 

Now his purpose has evolved over time but he’s very charitable, philanthropic. He is changing the world in his own way. That’s his purpose. 

But his purpose before that was to create Microsoft, what’s interesting is his purpose wasn’t to create Microsoft to make loads of money. 

It was to create Microsoft because he was addicted to this idea of computers, personal computers or software associated with it. 

Money was just a by-product. I think creating a distinction between the two is important, otherwise you could spend two, three, four decades chasing money thinking that’s a purpose to one day wake up and realise that wasn’t actually who I am and where I want to focus on.

Dr Ro: On the question, can I do both?

And actually, yes, you’ve got a great career and it’s going well and making great financial benefits from it and you’re still feeling that there’s other things you want to pursue or that you have quite aligned with that thing you want to attract, your purpose for example, there’s nothing to stop you staying in that space for now, whilst you then open yourself up to these other areas of your life. 

To help you do that, I think a couple things I want to share with you from the book. I’ve got a title here called vision is attraction and I just go on to talk about a diagram where the two meet and this is the critical point of contact. 

The critical point of contact is where attraction meets your vision, your intent, your thought, and your focus. If you think of a vision for the future, not necessarily your specific purpose. 

For example Harms had a vision to be able to be a father, a great husband but also live in an environment to stay connected with his business partner or partners and get access to fly around the world and live in a place where there is a consciousness about food. 

That vision then describes itself in a way which is how his life will be on a daily basis. You can describe that for yourself. 

How do you see this amazing future for you and that is your vision, it’s different from your purpose. Now when vision aligns with attraction intent, thought, and focus everything changes. Intent is the source of your desire. 

This is the birthplace of your vision and embryo in its purest form. This intention must come from a point of absolute pure desire, intention is that feeling inside where it’s like coming from right down in the depth of you. 

The thought which is the other element of this whole interaction is the conscious and unconscious part of the process. This is where you start to form images and substance to the pure intention behind the thought. 

Now we have a feeling which is our intention and now we process imagery around that. I’m placing my own visual perception of what that intention is everybody’s intention can be the same, but how we see it, how we take the thought and process that is different for every single person because of who we are and how we’ve been brought up, our beliefs and all our cultural experiences et cetera.

We place a conscious and unconscious thought around the intention to try in our minds to give it a form which we can manifest. 

The third thing is focus now for resonant harmony to occur with that which you are trying to attract your thoughts must be focused with absolute sharpness and clarity which goes back to the quote I gave earlier on. 

Also part of the focus is taking a specific action toward your desire so I’m saying when you take a magnifying glass and you want to burn a hole in a piece of paper the light can come through, so the intention can be there.

The thought can be there, but it isn’t focused. Now if we move the magnifying glass and that intention and thought comes to a point, we used to start fires on word or a piece of paper because we’ve taken all of those thoughts and intentions that light from the sun and we brought it through to a fine point where you get maximum impact that’s where you generate the heat.

Harms: One of the critical questions that comes off the back of pursuing a purpose or passion or vision, or when people talk about the law of attraction you mention intention, you mentioned thought, but you added that really critical ingredient which is focus and in that description you mentioned that is where you take action. 

I think that answers a question for somebody who maybe was going to ask the question can you just imagine this. 

We’re talking about waking up on purpose with a vision can you just imagine this and things are going to fall into your lap. 

You’ve answered the question in the sense that no, you just can’t. You have this third ingredient, which is that level of clarity and focus, which includes this powerful action, this taking a step towards that intention and thought that you created deep down in your heart, your soul. 

Plus this now conscious thought and imagery created and then going ahead and taking action on it. I think if you want to really simplify this, put money aside as an example, when me and Geena wanted to move from the country down south we had those three ingredients. 

The desire was to move around the people who we are connected with, the thought was we’re going to live down there. 

This is what the location needs to look like now that wasn’t going to fall into our lap. 

We had to take action on it and in our case it was immediate action. It was intense action. 

The next thing you know, we’re down south on a five-hour journey, moving the entire contents of our life down south and here we are.

Dr Ro: The fourth element here is attraction. 

Now attraction is attractive forces activate once you consistently apply the three steps described above. 

By keeping your vision clearly out in front of you and continually practising the focus and the thought process many incidences of attraction will occur. 

Another word might be, for example, synchronicity or a coincidence. I don’t actually necessarily believe that myself. I think we create situations where we synchronise or we attract things to us. I don’t like using the word coincidence. 

Yesterday, for example, is that we are moving the way our eldest daughter learns, we are moving into homeschooling. We were looking to put it out there to the universe to see if we can find language teachers and a maths teacher. 

Now I’m sat there with Harms and we were on a bench and it started to rain while we were having a coffee. 

I looked around and Harms said let’s go sit under the bus shelter over there before we finish. We sat there and there was one board off to the right. 

In the middle of the board and it was literally in the middle of the board. It said French tutor was available.

Harms: It was incredible. 

We’ve had coffee multiple times over that year and we’ve never gone to that bus shelter.

Dr Ro: Same thing with Harms when the forces of his intention, his thought and his focus came together, you literally got a phone call or a message from I think where you were renting and they said it’s time to terminate the tenancy agreement. 

You were like we made a decision to move but we weren’t sure how to time it because of the landlord tenancy agreement and sure enough, the universe went don’t worry, we will send you a message from the landlord.

Harms: Not coincidentally but with synchronicity in place what then happened was a couple weeks later, this flat appeared. 

We’re five hours away you viewed it for us. 

We booked it within 24 hours and the move happened.

Dr Ro: Effortlessly. This is the point. It’s effortless. 

The minute it becomes a push and shove a struggle those elements aren’t aligning. Attraction is being forced, as opposed to synchronicity happening.

Harms: For Geena and I before the move we already put the intention out there, we had the desire to move. 

We put the thought out there where we would like to move, what does it look like? We then put the focus in place we were very clear we wanted to move the attraction happened, i.e. you need to move out this place now, let’s make the decision to align with the intention thought and focus that we already have in place. 

I think also the effortlessness comes from going with the flow. 

You’ve already decided in your heart that this is what I want to do, don’t suddenly put a block up to it and say no now is not the time.

Dr Ro:  The blocks are the limiting beliefs. 

Harms was in such a great place and they were just ready for it, every little simplistic piece of the universe fell into place and that ties back to purpose. 

So when we do these things together it becomes the vision. The vision will allow the purpose to come into place. Start to create a vision for each of the following areas, wealth and the contribution to the world, so money, wealth, and how you can give out to the world. That’s one area, another area is health. 

Third area is family and friends. Those people around you and the last one is personal growth. Even if you create a vision for each of those four areas as a starting point, you’ll find that you start to get a sense of what your purpose is. 

When you wake up and you feel excited about something you’re doing or a certain area of your life. 

Make a note of it and start to keep a journal when you feel most alive. These are your actions by the way for this particular section, and this is how I very slowly, not very quickly, how I very slowly discovered that actually my greatest purpose was to be a teacher, a messenger, to inspire, to intervene to help people. 

Although I love my engineering world and I did love doing it. I didn’t feel as alive as when I was doing things like I’m doing with you right now, and the more I found myself getting excited about it I just allowed it to happen and hope it came into my life and then more opportunities came or speaking opportunities. 

I used to say, but this is not engineering, should I be doing this and then I started to say I love this. I’ll do it anyway. 

Your purpose will reveal itself to you if you start to break down your life into different areas and then see how you wake up in those areas.

Harms: What I did is I had a simple Excel spreadsheet and I would journal every day, just as bullet points what I did on that day, or certain things that happened to me that day and at the end of the day I would give it a score. One number. 

No additional description at that stage. I’d give it a number from one to 10. 

I did this every single day for about three months and the reason for it was I wanted to look back and find out what was I doing on days where I felt a seven, eight, nine or 10, and what was I doing on days where felt, one, two, three or four and that was a crap day. 

The seven, eight, nine, 10 whatever I was doing that day I had fun, really loved it. 

As an example for me this is an eight or nine day, I’m doing a podcast recording it’s exactly what I want to be doing in the day. 

What that allowed me to do was not to continue it just for the sake of it but then look at okay, these are the things I’m doing on this particular day or week or month, which continuously score high, and it was a way for me to self-reflect. 

I think one of the important things from your action point and maybe this one is most of the time we’re just floating through the days, weeks go by. 

Months go by, we have no idea what we did last week or the week before and it’s often really difficult to think about what excited us and what we were doing at a point which is really enjoyable.

Dr Ro: I think what you describe there is most people’s lives outside of Covid a day-to-day basis for a lot of people they’re functioning, paying the bills, enjoying parts of their work, enjoying a great holiday and they get to a point and are like what is this about? 

I think what you’re describing is a great way to actually measure it in a logical left-brain way, but also attach some emotional questions around it as well. 

If you wake up in the morning and each month and each week and you’ve got a direction that you are taking in life it means that the choices around your environment where you live, who you hang out with all align with your beliefs and your values. 

If you don’t have that destination to go to if you are driving from one part of a country to another part if you don’t have the destination, you’ll aimlessly just drive all over the place and it could take you so much longer and you get frustrated, so the purpose is the pull. 

It’s the thing that directs you and helps you set your compass. It keeps you on track to keep your beliefs confirmed your values aligned and your choice of environment. 

Without it this journey will be a lot tougher which is why we have to work on it, it’s equally as important as all the other steps.

Harms: The reality is if this is not addressed or the consequences of this is 10, 20, 30, 40 and we see people in the 50s, 60s come to Ro and they’re so far off course away from their purpose that you’ve got a smaller window now to get back to your purpose. 

If we are constantly realigning with this direction it becomes easier. I think this is a powerful message for somebody of my age, 20s, 30s and then just as important to somebody in managing the time that they’ve got left in their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s hundreds. If you are that far off course is it impossible to get back on course?

Dr Ro: No, it’s not. 

You’ve witnessed that yourself you’ve seen this happen with people. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy but there has to be pure intention to do it, it can’t be driven by trying to get back at somebody else. 

It can’t be driven by a sense of desperation, although that can be the trigger to make that step through. 

Age doesn’t matter there has to be the initial intent I want to make a change and I’m prepared to take it on and have the courage to do it, and then the universe will start to open up and people fall into your life who are just right for you.

Harms: Thanks for joining us on the Growth Tribes podcast part one and part two of this six step change process and remember yes it’s applicable to Covid and this high impact high significant scenario, but we can apply this to everywhere. 

We’ve tried to give you lots of different examples in each of the steps and some action points in each of the steps as well. 

So step one of the six step change process remember it’s about mastering your internal and external language. 

Step two is re-valuing your life talking about the values that you live by, revaluing these values that you live by. 

Step three is changing your conditions and relaxing your walls. 

Don’t be so hard on yourself. 

Step four is beliefs. 

Step five is to create a supportive environment for change. 

Step six is to wake up on purpose with vision. 

That’s it from myself Ro. 

We shall see the next episode of the Growth Tribes podcast. That’s myself and Ro signing out. 

Take care.

All of this creation is supported by the listeners and people just like you

To say thank you for supporting the podcast, we give supporters special perks.